father and mentor

November 23, 2011


today is the 26th of July

i’ve had a much better day than yesterday and in fact the last few days of this process have been a lot better and i just constantly remind myself to look back to the first day when this detox started and then compare where i am now. That it’s not so much about what i am living through now but also it’s how far i’ve come in 11 days of doing this effexor detoxification. 

i  say with confidence that i don’t have to take the extra strength exxedrin pills for my relief and just to make an hour of my life palpable , or the gravol to ease the nausea and not allow every symptom of nausea dictate my feelings or actions for the whole day.mainly i want to try to focus on the good and  that things are looking up.

RIght now i do have a headache but today i’m really trying to see everything from how hard i worked to get here and see that it’s a plus that when i look around in my abode , it’s not this estranged place to sleep and go on facebook and take a shower in and eat a few meals in but it’s where i live and understand , and have a close connection to.

i know i sound good but Its not easy to welcome this perspective as my head pounds and i wonder is this really a normal life i’m living !!!?? but it’s a must , it’s a must if i want to contain myself throughout this process and come out as a human being who is relatively unscathed and ready to live her life.

“ Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”
— George Bernard Shaw

my father

my father

“this lifetime will never come again , it is precious and irreplaceable. To live without regret we must have a concrete purpose, continually setting goals and challenges for ourselves , and we need to keep moving towards those targets, tenaciously and steadily, one step at a time ” Daisaku Ikeda

my father to the left here that was taken a picture of ;  the person who i owe my life to and as well who is standing by me every step of the way in life & this struggle  to go down in my prescription . This process is really something that from day to day changes vastly, like the symptoms and physical changes are never the same —in turn i  look or seek out support for this  , the only place or one of the most unconditional places to receive this encouragement is from a parent. and in this case i am blessed to say i feel i have his confidence if anything his ear ! the reason I keep mentioning his name and talk about some of his famous sentences he’s used is a reminder  to me to have gratitude towards him  and so important too that this contact i keep with him continues.  it’s one thing that i find vital in this whole adventure of coming back to ME! One needs a real friend who you can tell the truth to , and where you don’t feel you have to hide a detail from. In some cases it may not seem like an obvious need , but it helps a lot to know it’s there!

“ I think the job of a fashion designer is to have some kind of artistic viewpoint, otherwise you’re just making clothes. I’m not interested in just making something that looks pretty. To me, it’s about the idea; the context, parallels, complicated viewpoints and things with an interesting interplay. Everything has a story and we’re not afraid of telling stories that are a little bit weirder.” — Kate Mulleavy of Rodarte

Daisaku Ikeda - my mentor

Daisaku Ikeda – my mentor

Daisaku Ikeda is actually my mentor and i draw a lot of strength from his quotes, affirmations and peace proposals, photographs, books -for me he serves as a constant reminder of what i can make of my life , below is the shortest bio i could find! enjoy—


Ikeda was born in Tokyo, Japan, on January 2, 1928, the fifth of eight children, to a family of seaweed farmers. The devastation and senseless horror he witnessed as a teenager during World War II gave birth to a lifelong passion to work for peace, rooting out the fundamental causes of human conflict.

For much of his early life Ikeda struggled against ill health, nearly succumbing, in his teens, to the ravages of tuberculosis, one of the leading killer diseases at the time. In 1947, at the age of 19, he met Josei Toda (1900-58), educator and leader of the Soka Gakkai lay Buddhist society whose activities were based on the philosophy of the thirteenth-century Buddhist teacher and reformer Nichiren. Ikeda found in Toda an open and unaffected person, a man of unshakable conviction with a gift for explaining profound Buddhist concepts in logical, accessible terms. He soon found employment at one of Toda’s companies and later completed his education under the tutelage of Toda, who became his mentor in life.

In 1975, Ikeda became the first president of the Soka Gakkai International (SGI), now a global network linking over 12 million members in some 190 countries and territories.

The central tenet of Ikeda’s thought, and of Buddhism, is the fundamental sanctity of life, a value which Ikeda sees as the key to lasting peace and human happiness. In his view, global peace relies ultimately on a self-directed transformation within the life of the individual, rather than on societal or structural reforms alone. This idea is expressed most succinctly in a passage in his best-known work, The Human Revolution, Ikeda’s novelization of the Soka Gakkai’s history and ideals: “A great inner revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and, further, will enable a change in the destiny of all humankind.” 


Ikeda has two sons, Hiromasa and Takahiro, and lives in Tokyo with his wife, Kaneko.


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